392 00:00:46,353 --> 00:00:48,469 Oh dearie me! l am losing again 393 00:00:50,673 --> 00:00:52,504 - Good evening all - Hello Sid 394 00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,545 - How you doing? - What? 395 00:00:54,673 --> 00:00:57,346 - How you doing? - Very much! l'll have a pint 396 00:00:57,913 --> 00:01:00,427 l said ''how you doing'' not ''what you having?'' 397 00:01:00,553 --> 00:01:02,942 - What? - Never mind! Come on 398 00:01:04,593 --> 00:01:06,390 Hello curly! What can l get you? 399 00:01:06,553 --> 00:01:10,592 - How about excited? - Congratulations 400 00:01:10,713 --> 00:01:13,227 You are the five hundredth person to say that tonight 401 00:01:13,353 --> 00:01:15,947 You win our star award, a beer mat 402 00:01:16,513 --> 00:01:20,188 - Thanks! A pint for Sid! - Thelma Ritter 403 00:01:20,313 --> 00:01:22,986 Thelma Ritter, eh? l'm Giovanni Cupello 404 00:01:23,433 --> 00:01:27,665 That is not her name! Thelma Ritter's a pint of bitter! 405 00:01:27,593 --> 00:01:31,268 - Cockney rhyming slang - Sure l remember 406 00:01:31,593 --> 00:01:32,912 42 pence! 407 00:01:33,033 --> 00:01:35,024 And a packet of assaulted peasnuts please! 408 00:01:38,593 --> 00:01:40,026 - Cheers - Thanks a lot 409 00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:44,226 - How is the Las Vegas kid doing, eh? - Terrible 410 00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:50,461 - You never win nothing on this machine - l tell you! lt's fixed 411 00:01:50,593 --> 00:01:52,504 Oh no, lady behind bar is telling me 412 00:01:52,633 --> 00:01:56,672 lt is nearly time for somebody to be winning the Jack in the pot 413 00:01:58,033 --> 00:01:58,943 l try again! 414 00:02:01,993 --> 00:02:03,665 But this time l am not looking! 415 00:02:05,313 --> 00:02:07,429 See l tell you, you not win nothing 416 00:02:09,153 --> 00:02:11,986 Yes but l am getting three bars! Look! 417 00:02:12,113 --> 00:02:14,388 lf l'm holding them, next time l will be winning 418 00:02:15,233 --> 00:02:17,189 You've already spent one pound 419 00:02:17,313 --> 00:02:20,862 Yes but if l am getting another bar, l will be collecting five pounds 420 00:02:21,593 --> 00:02:24,232 Oh dearie me! l am not having any more ten p's 421 00:02:24,633 --> 00:02:26,385 Could you be changing this please? 422 00:02:26,513 --> 00:02:28,583 Sorry Ali, l spent all my change 423 00:02:28,713 --> 00:02:31,386 - Max - l got any ten p's 424 00:02:31,513 --> 00:02:33,105 l'll be losing the jack in the pot 425 00:02:35,193 --> 00:02:36,512 Ah professori! 426 00:02:36,633 --> 00:02:37,543 - Good evening - Good evening 427 00:02:37,993 --> 00:02:41,622 - You want a Thelma Ritter? - Pardon? 428 00:02:41,553 --> 00:02:45,466 - Thelma Ritter, bitter - You've been talking to Sid the caretaker 429 00:02:46,553 --> 00:02:49,590 Sure, he's teaching me more of his cockeyned slanging rhyme 430 00:02:50,633 --> 00:02:53,147 - Cockney - Excuse me 431 00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:54,388 - Max! - Yes Mr. Brown 432 00:02:54,513 --> 00:02:56,549 lt's your point of interest! You have to remember what a cockney is 433 00:02:56,673 --> 00:03:00,507 Sure, lt's someone who was born near the sound of Bows Balls 434 00:03:02,513 --> 00:03:05,266 - Bells - Hockay 435 00:03:05,673 --> 00:03:07,186 - You want a drink? - No thanks 436 00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:09,986 - l just called for some cigarettes - Excuse me please Mr. Brown 437 00:03:10,113 --> 00:03:13,071 Would you be having any changes for a pound to be putting in machine? 438 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:16,151 - You're wasting your money Ali - No l'm sure to be winning 439 00:03:16,273 --> 00:03:19,504 - l'm holding three bars - lt's your money! Let's have a look 440 00:03:19,953 --> 00:03:22,023 - Good evening everybodies - Good evening Ranjeet 441 00:03:22,153 --> 00:03:23,029 Excuse me! 442 00:03:27,313 --> 00:03:31,192 - What are you doing you damn fool? - l'm having a go on this machine 443 00:03:37,953 --> 00:03:39,909 l'm winning the Jackpot 444 00:03:40,393 --> 00:03:41,587 That is my winnings 445 00:03:41,913 --> 00:03:45,542 How can it being your winnings? l am putting the money, 10 p. ln 446 00:03:45,673 --> 00:03:46,947 Here's your ten p. Back 447 00:03:47,713 --> 00:03:51,547 - Take your dirty hands off my money - lt is my money you bearded bandit 448 00:03:51,953 --> 00:03:54,308 Quiet the pair of you! Why don't you share the money? 449 00:03:54,713 --> 00:03:56,863 lt's a good idea! There's five of us 450 00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,470 That's one pound each 451 00:04:00,593 --> 00:04:03,232 l mean between Ali and Ranjeet! Then you've both won 452 00:04:03,353 --> 00:04:05,913 - You are as wise as a Holy Guru - Thank you 453 00:04:06,593 --> 00:04:08,185 Actually, it's time you all go back to school 454 00:04:08,313 --> 00:04:10,986 lt's your exams tomorrow! You should be taking every opportunity to study 455 00:04:11,353 --> 00:04:13,184 - l know - Okay 456 00:04:14,233 --> 00:04:15,905 - We go - l go 457 00:04:16,393 --> 00:04:17,587 Come on Ali! You too 458 00:04:20,673 --> 00:04:22,072 - Waiter? - Pardon? 459 00:04:23,193 --> 00:04:25,229 A gin and tonic and a lager please 460 00:04:25,353 --> 00:04:26,468 l'm afraid you're making a mistake 461 00:04:27,273 --> 00:04:29,184 Don't be ridiculous! l know what l want 462 00:04:29,673 --> 00:04:32,506 A gin and tonic for me and a lager for my husband! He's just parking the car 463 00:04:32,913 --> 00:04:35,268 No, you don't understand! l'm a school teacher 464 00:04:36,153 --> 00:04:38,144 That's nothing to be ashamed of 465 00:04:38,953 --> 00:04:41,865 l think it's quite commendable 466 00:04:41,993 --> 00:04:45,542 That you should supplement your income by working in a public house 467 00:04:46,673 --> 00:04:48,311 Look Madam, l am not what you think l am 468 00:04:48,433 --> 00:04:50,503 And l am not interested in your personal problems! 469 00:04:50,953 --> 00:04:54,548 l just want a gin and tonic and a lager 470 00:04:54,673 --> 00:04:55,901 - Yes... - Now 471 00:04:56,033 --> 00:04:57,512 A gin and tonic and a lager 472 00:04:59,153 --> 00:05:01,587 - Good evening Mr. Brown - Hello Sid, how are you? 473 00:05:01,713 --> 00:05:02,907 l'll have a gold watch 474 00:05:03,033 --> 00:05:05,422 - Pardon? - A scotch 475 00:05:05,553 --> 00:05:06,906 l wasn't offering you a drink 476 00:05:07,033 --> 00:05:08,432 - You are? - Nevermind 477 00:05:08,553 --> 00:05:11,113 A scotch for Sid! 20 cigarettes for me 478 00:05:11,233 --> 00:05:13,588 And a gin and tonic and a lager for that lady over there 479 00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:14,623 She thinks l am a waiter 480 00:05:14,953 --> 00:05:17,262 - What? - She thinks l'm a waiter 481 00:05:17,953 --> 00:05:20,467 - How long have we been doing it? - What? 482 00:05:21,673 --> 00:05:25,063 - This waiting - l'm not! l'm not a waiter 483 00:05:25,193 --> 00:05:26,467 - You are? - Never mind 484 00:05:27,113 --> 00:05:28,910 One pound 60 please 485 00:05:29,033 --> 00:05:31,501 Well actually these drinks are for that lady and gentleman over there 486 00:05:31,633 --> 00:05:33,305 - They've still got to be paid for - Yes but... 487 00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:36,505 Never mind l'll pay for them and they can pay me later 488 00:05:37,313 --> 00:05:39,269 How much is it for the gin and tonic and the lager? 489 00:05:39,393 --> 00:05:41,384 - 72 - 72 490 00:05:41,513 --> 00:05:43,344 - Good health - Good health 491 00:05:49,953 --> 00:05:52,103 There you are! 72 p. Please 492 00:05:52,233 --> 00:05:55,543 - Didn't l see you take a drink of my lager? - Yes, it was only a sip 493 00:05:55,673 --> 00:05:59,461 Oh yes l suppose you were tasting it to make sure it was fit to drink 494 00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,151 lt was purely accidental 495 00:06:01,273 --> 00:06:03,423 l've a good mind to report you to the brewery 496 00:06:03,593 --> 00:06:05,549 Frankly, l couldn't care less what you do 497 00:06:05,993 --> 00:06:08,587 Your attitude is typical of the working class mentality 498 00:06:08,713 --> 00:06:12,228 lt's people like you that are ruining the country! You're nothing but a peasant 499 00:06:12,353 --> 00:06:15,504 And you sir are a bourgeois snob! 72 p. Please 500 00:06:15,633 --> 00:06:19,512 l refuse to pay for a drink that has been contaminated by your lips 501 00:06:19,633 --> 00:06:20,543 l see 502 00:06:20,993 --> 00:06:22,949 All right don't pay for it! Have it on me! 503 00:06:23,593 --> 00:06:24,469 Here you go! 504 00:06:30,233 --> 00:06:31,348 Silence 505 00:06:32,273 --> 00:06:36,425 This is disgraceful! Ten minutes past seven and Mr. Brown has not arrived 506 00:06:36,633 --> 00:06:38,464 But you are mistaken! 507 00:06:38,593 --> 00:06:41,551 - He is here, isn't he Anna? - Ja 508 00:06:41,673 --> 00:06:44,233 - That's right! He's always early - Yes please 509 00:06:44,353 --> 00:06:48,505 Tonight, he was being so early that he was here ten minutes before he arrived 510 00:06:50,193 --> 00:06:54,630 - He's just gone out - Where has he gone out to? 511 00:06:54,913 --> 00:06:56,869 - Tea room - Toilet 512 00:06:57,553 --> 00:06:58,986 l beg your pardon! 513 00:06:59,113 --> 00:07:00,512 - Toilet - Tea room 514 00:07:01,553 --> 00:07:03,225 Would you like to try again? 515 00:07:03,353 --> 00:07:07,187 Vot they mean is, first he goest to tea room, then he goes to toilet 516 00:07:07,313 --> 00:07:08,871 Yeah 517 00:07:09,233 --> 00:07:10,985 Hello Miss Courtney, sorry l'm late 518 00:07:11,113 --> 00:07:12,910 - But you're not - Really? 519 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,228 According to your students, you were here all the time 520 00:07:15,353 --> 00:07:18,629 - Oh yes well - And where exactly were you? 521 00:07:18,953 --> 00:07:21,342 - We told you, he... - l'm asking Mr. Brown 522 00:07:21,913 --> 00:07:24,143 - Well? - Ah yes... 523 00:07:32,633 --> 00:07:34,464 What is going on? 524 00:07:34,593 --> 00:07:36,072 l don't know, but from their sign language 525 00:07:36,193 --> 00:07:38,787 l think they're trying to say l was having a cup of tea in the toilet 526 00:07:40,153 --> 00:07:42,269 Actually Miss Courtney, l'll tell you the truth! l am late, and the reason is this! 527 00:07:42,393 --> 00:07:44,224 l'd just called to the pub opposite for some cigarettes 528 00:07:44,353 --> 00:07:47,584 l was mistaken for a waiter, bought two drinks for two people l'd never met before 529 00:07:47,713 --> 00:07:51,388 Was called a peasant and finished up by pouring a glass of lager over a man's head 530 00:07:51,513 --> 00:07:53,424 You're an even bigger liar than your students! 531 00:07:55,273 --> 00:07:58,663 l would have thought you'd have made an effort to be early this evening 532 00:07:58,593 --> 00:08:01,061 After all, it's your last chance to teach them something 533 00:08:01,193 --> 00:08:03,070 Before they take their exams tomorrow 534 00:08:03,193 --> 00:08:05,184 Yes, miss Courtney you're quite right as usual 535 00:08:05,313 --> 00:08:09,670 Not that l think any of them have the remotest chance of passing 536 00:08:12,193 --> 00:08:14,263 ln your places please 537 00:08:14,393 --> 00:08:17,385 - She thinks ve are stupid - l think she may have a point 538 00:08:17,513 --> 00:08:19,105 - Por favore - Yes Juan 539 00:08:19,553 --> 00:08:24,911 What you think about this exam? You think we pass? 540 00:08:25,033 --> 00:08:27,228 Do l think you'll pass? Juan, for the past 13 weeks, 541 00:08:27,353 --> 00:08:29,230 you've all been coming here to study 542 00:08:29,353 --> 00:08:31,548 13 weeks of hard work, diligence and application 543 00:08:31,673 --> 00:08:33,504 13 weeks of blood toil and sweat 544 00:08:33,633 --> 00:08:35,510 Slowly, little by little, you have improved 545 00:08:35,633 --> 00:08:37,589 When you sit down to take your examination tomorrow 546 00:08:37,713 --> 00:08:41,422 l will have no doubts whether you'll pass or not! You haven't a cat in hells chance! 547 00:08:42,953 --> 00:08:43,988 Quiet! 548 00:08:44,353 --> 00:08:46,867 Oh blimey, you are not giving us any confidence 549 00:08:46,993 --> 00:08:48,506 Maybe some of you may manage to scrape through 550 00:08:48,633 --> 00:08:50,510 But l shall be most surprised if you all pass 551 00:08:50,953 --> 00:08:53,513 l shall pass to plove supeliolity of lepubric of China 552 00:08:53,913 --> 00:08:55,904 Yes we'll see about that! 553 00:08:56,033 --> 00:08:58,945 ln the meantime, l want tonight to talk about the exam and afterwards 554 00:08:59,073 --> 00:09:01,462 lf any of you have any questions about any points you're not sure of 555 00:09:01,593 --> 00:09:03,549 They'll just ask and l'll do my best to answer them 556 00:09:04,073 --> 00:09:06,303 - Excuse me please - Not yet Taro 557 00:09:06,433 --> 00:09:07,502 l want to talk about the exam first 558 00:09:07,633 --> 00:09:09,783 - Then you can ask a question - Ah so 559 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:15,029 Now the first thing is l shall not be taking you 560 00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:19,188 Excuse please Mr. Brown, where will you not be taking us to? 561 00:09:19,673 --> 00:09:22,585 l mean l shan't be here tomorrow when you take your exam 562 00:09:22,913 --> 00:09:26,792 Jelly good! We can be reading all the answers from our books 563 00:09:27,593 --> 00:09:30,983 - There will be somebody here - Oh dear 564 00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,786 l am thinking l am going to be up a gummy tree 565 00:09:35,153 --> 00:09:36,950 ln any case, you're not supposed to cheat 566 00:09:37,073 --> 00:09:39,462 lt's customary for another teacher from another school 567 00:09:39,593 --> 00:09:41,185 To take an examination of this kind 568 00:09:42,113 --> 00:09:43,546 Excuse me please 569 00:09:43,673 --> 00:09:46,346 - Later Taro please - Ok 570 00:09:48,113 --> 00:09:51,549 When you take your examination, the lower Cambridge certificate is not too difficult 571 00:09:51,953 --> 00:09:54,183 The exam is divided into 3 parts 572 00:09:54,673 --> 00:09:58,348 There will be an oral exam and a written one! Then comes dictation 573 00:09:58,473 --> 00:09:59,588 ls that his name? 574 00:10:01,273 --> 00:10:03,025 ls that who's name? 575 00:10:03,433 --> 00:10:08,905 The man who is going to be taking us to be doing the examination! Dick Tation 576 00:10:10,313 --> 00:10:14,511 Dictation is when a person reads something out aloud and another person copy it down 577 00:10:15,033 --> 00:10:17,342 Like a short fingered typist 578 00:10:18,913 --> 00:10:21,029 - Short hand typist - Yes please 579 00:10:21,633 --> 00:10:22,986 Excuse me please 580 00:10:23,113 --> 00:10:25,422 You can ask your question in a moment Taro 581 00:10:27,313 --> 00:10:30,669 When you've completed your examination, the papers are taken away to be marked 582 00:10:30,593 --> 00:10:32,504 And you will be notified of the results by post 583 00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:36,103 So please make sure you write your names clearly on your papers 584 00:10:36,233 --> 00:10:37,666 Christian name and surname 585 00:10:37,953 --> 00:10:39,944 - l cannot do that - Why not? 586 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:41,188 l am not a Christian 587 00:10:42,193 --> 00:10:45,663 lf you want to be pedantic about it Ranjeet, write your surname and forename 588 00:10:45,593 --> 00:10:47,902 l am not having four names also 589 00:10:48,953 --> 00:10:57,349 The prefix fore in this case is spelt FORE and means first for example ''forefinger'' 590 00:10:57,713 --> 00:11:02,787 Uno momente! Four finger - one thumb 591 00:11:04,673 --> 00:11:08,029 - No not four fingers - Si, si 592 00:11:08,153 --> 00:11:11,589 One, two, three, four 593 00:11:11,913 --> 00:11:16,987 - This is my forefinger - No, it's only one 594 00:11:19,233 --> 00:11:21,030 l wonder if l should cancel tomorrow 595 00:11:21,153 --> 00:11:22,506 - Por favore? - Never mind 596 00:11:22,953 --> 00:11:25,672 Excuse please 597 00:11:25,593 --> 00:11:31,190 - Yes you can ask your question now Taro - Requesto permission to visit toilet 598 00:11:31,673 --> 00:11:34,870 - Yes of course, sorry - Thank you 599 00:11:39,993 --> 00:11:42,109 Has anybody else got a question? 600 00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:45,350 Yes, after tomollow, will we see you again? 601 00:11:45,473 --> 00:11:48,226 That depends on so many things, whether l'm engaged for another term 602 00:11:48,353 --> 00:11:49,502 Or whether any of you decide 603 00:11:49,633 --> 00:11:52,511 Whatever the results of your exam to come back for a further course 604 00:11:52,953 --> 00:11:57,185 l will give you my address! You can come and see me any time 605 00:11:58,033 --> 00:11:59,830 Quiet, quiet! 606 00:12:00,273 --> 00:12:02,343 Mr. Brown, can you spare a moment please? 607 00:12:02,473 --> 00:12:05,670 Certainly, l suggest you all study your verbs until l return 608 00:12:08,633 --> 00:12:12,228 As you know, another teacher will be taking the exam tomorrow 609 00:12:12,353 --> 00:12:13,388 Yes 610 00:12:13,513 --> 00:12:17,222 The gentleman who used to be the principal of this college will be supervising your class 611 00:12:17,353 --> 00:12:20,106 He's in my office now! l thought it might be a good idea if you met him 612 00:12:20,233 --> 00:12:23,225 - l'd like to - Do try to make a good impression 613 00:12:23,353 --> 00:12:26,789 lt does no harm if he's favourably disposed towards you 614 00:12:27,593 --> 00:12:29,823 This is our English teacher Mr. Brown 615 00:12:30,713 --> 00:12:34,388 - lt's you - lt's a small world, isn't it? 616 00:12:58,433 --> 00:12:59,912 Silence please! 617 00:13:00,033 --> 00:13:01,512 Exam in progress 618 00:13:02,993 --> 00:13:06,303 Good evening Mr. Cupello! All ready for your examination? 619 00:13:06,433 --> 00:13:09,630 Sure, everything's gonna be ''Oki talki'' 620 00:13:10,513 --> 00:13:11,946 Bueno Serra everybody 621 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,348 - Has anybody got a pen? - Yes 622 00:13:15,473 --> 00:13:18,351 - But prease lemember who it berongs to - Sure l will 623 00:13:19,313 --> 00:13:21,827 What are you doing? 624 00:13:22,193 --> 00:13:24,388 l tell you! l just been studying my verbs! 625 00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:27,346 So l'm gonna write them down on my hand so l don't forget 626 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,988 - Typical of western dishonesty - l think it's a good idea 627 00:13:31,553 --> 00:13:33,987 You want to write verb tenses on your hand too? 628 00:13:34,113 --> 00:13:36,502 No, l'm ok on verbs but not good on pronouns 629 00:13:36,913 --> 00:13:39,347 - So write pronouns - No need 630 00:13:39,473 --> 00:13:41,668 l already write them on handkerchief 631 00:13:43,593 --> 00:13:45,868 Smart! 632 00:13:46,353 --> 00:13:48,230 lt is wrong to cheat 633 00:13:48,353 --> 00:13:51,504 - Don't you agree Ali? - Not at all, l am also cheating 634 00:13:52,193 --> 00:13:55,185 You have got something written on your handkerchief? 635 00:13:55,313 --> 00:13:56,951 No, it is in my hat 636 00:13:59,153 --> 00:14:02,543 This is terrible! lf you are found out, you will be disqualified 637 00:14:02,673 --> 00:14:04,982 Old japanese philosopher he say 638 00:14:06,593 --> 00:14:09,471 ''Man who deals flom bottomo, usually end up on top'' 639 00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:15,548 - You as well? - Taro not good on adverbs 640 00:14:15,953 --> 00:14:20,469 So have some written on chair seat 641 00:14:22,193 --> 00:14:25,105 Good evening everyone 642 00:14:25,233 --> 00:14:27,349 Nice to see you all are bright and early 643 00:14:27,473 --> 00:14:28,792 l expect you're feeling a bit nervous 644 00:14:29,153 --> 00:14:30,871 - l am not nervous - Good 645 00:14:31,553 --> 00:14:36,468 - l am putrified - Petrified 646 00:14:37,233 --> 00:14:38,461 Well do your best! 647 00:14:38,593 --> 00:14:41,266 l'm not supposed to be here so l shall be in the pub 648 00:14:41,393 --> 00:14:43,190 - All right? - All right 649 00:14:43,313 --> 00:14:47,022 But if you all call in when you finish your exam, l'll buy you all an end of term drink 650 00:14:48,633 --> 00:14:51,545 - Good luck Taro - Thank you 651 00:14:52,113 --> 00:14:54,502 You must be nervous! That's the first time you haven't stood up and bowed 652 00:14:55,713 --> 00:14:58,068 - Good luck Juan - Muchas gracias 653 00:14:58,913 --> 00:15:02,110 - Good luck Giovanni - Thanks professori 654 00:15:02,673 --> 00:15:04,391 You're not too nervous to shake hands, are you? 655 00:15:04,513 --> 00:15:07,823 - Si l am very nervous - Nonsense, come on 656 00:15:07,953 --> 00:15:10,990 - That didn't hurt, did it? - Not a lot 657 00:15:12,273 --> 00:15:13,262 Ranjeet 658 00:15:13,633 --> 00:15:17,945 - That's funny, where did that ink come from? - Maybe your pen has got a leak 659 00:15:18,553 --> 00:15:22,466 - Let me see your hand Giovanni - There's nothing there professori 660 00:15:22,593 --> 00:15:25,505 - The other one - There's nothing there either 661 00:15:26,113 --> 00:15:28,149 There's something there now, isn't it? 662 00:15:28,273 --> 00:15:32,232 Oh no, my pen is got a leak as well 663 00:15:33,713 --> 00:15:37,342 And l suppose while it was leaking, it just happened to write a few verbs down 664 00:15:37,713 --> 00:15:40,511 Sorry professori, my verbs are a bit bad 665 00:15:40,633 --> 00:15:42,225 l suggest you clean all that off 666 00:15:42,353 --> 00:15:45,789 - l don't seem to have a handkerchief myself - Max has got a hankerchief! 667 00:15:46,993 --> 00:15:52,147 - l got no handkerchief - What's that sticking out of your top pocket? 668 00:15:52,913 --> 00:15:55,905 Oh that, lt's not a proper handkerchief 669 00:15:56,353 --> 00:15:57,991 Maybe Ali's got a proper handkerchief 670 00:15:58,593 --> 00:16:00,390 Let me see that handkerchief Max 671 00:16:03,953 --> 00:16:08,390 - l see, pronouns are your weak point - lt's right 672 00:16:08,553 --> 00:16:09,781 l'll keep this 673 00:16:10,593 --> 00:16:12,948 How many other little tricks have you been up to Ali? 674 00:16:13,073 --> 00:16:15,667 You're very quiet, are you keeping something under your hat? 675 00:16:18,993 --> 00:16:22,190 Blimey, how are you guessing that? 676 00:16:24,513 --> 00:16:25,389 l didn't! 677 00:16:25,953 --> 00:16:29,628 While l'm thinking of it, Taro would you like to stand up please? 678 00:16:33,553 --> 00:16:34,827 Very ingenious! 679 00:16:35,473 --> 00:16:42,424 - Now Juan, where's your little crib hidden? - Por favore? 680 00:16:43,633 --> 00:16:47,023 Never mind por favore! l know it's somewhere, it's written all over your face 681 00:16:47,153 --> 00:16:50,270 No, no write on my face 682 00:16:51,473 --> 00:16:53,191 This is no laughing matter 683 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:56,862 - Come on Juan, where is it? - Under table 684 00:17:02,993 --> 00:17:06,622 - Ranjeet - A thousand apologies 685 00:17:11,433 --> 00:17:16,063 Danielle, Anna, Jamila, Su Lee? 686 00:17:16,193 --> 00:17:19,185 We no cheat! Plefer to pass exam on own melits 687 00:17:19,313 --> 00:17:21,588 l'm grad... glad to hear it 688 00:17:22,913 --> 00:17:26,622 Some last minute coaching Brown? 689 00:17:26,553 --> 00:17:29,989 - No, no l just came in to wish them luck - They're going to need more than luck 690 00:17:30,113 --> 00:17:31,102 Goodbye Mr. Brown 691 00:17:31,233 --> 00:17:34,464 - Listen, l'm sorry about yesterday - Goodbye Mr. Brown 692 00:17:34,593 --> 00:17:36,788 Goodbye! Good luck 693 00:17:39,033 --> 00:17:43,424 Now l want absolute silence during this examination, understand? 694 00:17:43,553 --> 00:17:45,908 - Same again! - Don't you think you've had enough? 695 00:17:46,033 --> 00:17:48,467 How can l have had enough? l'm still standing 696 00:17:48,593 --> 00:17:51,983 - You've been to the loo once - That doen't mean anything 697 00:17:55,473 --> 00:17:57,464 You're making it up 698 00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:02,069 - Hello Sid - Same again, thank you 699 00:18:03,433 --> 00:18:05,583 Half a bitter please Mavis and whatever Sid's drinking 700 00:18:06,033 --> 00:18:08,422 - Sid tells me you're not married - That's right l'm not 701 00:18:08,553 --> 00:18:11,545 - l'm not married as well - Congratulations 702 00:18:12,353 --> 00:18:14,867 - l haven't even got a boyfriend - Really? 703 00:18:15,633 --> 00:18:18,784 - How about you? - l haven't got a boyfriend either 704 00:18:19,713 --> 00:18:21,112 Not a regular one anyway! 705 00:18:21,233 --> 00:18:24,066 Look, have a drink on me alright? These are for you 706 00:18:25,593 --> 00:18:30,064 - There you go Sid! There's your pre-exam - Pre cheer! You learned it, aint you? 707 00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:31,421 - Yeah - Good old chap 708 00:18:31,553 --> 00:18:33,828 - How's your Lil? - She's still living 709 00:18:35,913 --> 00:18:37,665 - You don't mean that - Yeah 710 00:18:37,593 --> 00:18:41,666 You know when l was courting her, l used to worship the ground she walked on 711 00:18:42,113 --> 00:18:44,673 Now l worship the ground that is coming to her 712 00:18:46,113 --> 00:18:49,549 - That's not a very nice thing to say - No, but it's more sincere 713 00:18:50,033 --> 00:18:53,548 - You take my tip son, stay single - l haven't much choice at the moment 714 00:18:53,673 --> 00:18:55,026 l can't afford to get married! 715 00:18:55,153 --> 00:18:57,542 - Still l've got Josephine - Who's Josephine? 716 00:18:57,673 --> 00:19:01,063 - ls that your bit of crumpets? - No my siamese cat 717 00:19:02,593 --> 00:19:08,145 - My students will be all hard at it now - Yeah, there's a lot of it about 718 00:19:10,033 --> 00:19:12,069 l was talking about their exam 719 00:19:12,193 --> 00:19:17,062 - l shall miss them next term - Cheer up son 720 00:19:17,193 --> 00:19:19,502 - What you want is another drink - Yeah, good idea! 721 00:19:19,633 --> 00:19:21,589 Yeah, this time l'll have a pint 722 00:19:37,033 --> 00:19:38,591 A penny for them! 723 00:19:39,033 --> 00:19:41,501 l was just wondering how my students were getting on with their exams 724 00:19:41,913 --> 00:19:43,904 - l expect they'll be all right - l hope so 725 00:19:44,033 --> 00:19:47,662 l won't know what to do with myself now that the term's over in the evenings 726 00:19:47,593 --> 00:19:50,426 lt must get a bit lonely for you living on your own 727 00:19:50,553 --> 00:19:52,271 l don't live on my own exactly! l've got Josephine 728 00:19:53,433 --> 00:19:57,267 Yeah she's marvellous! l don't know what to do without her 729 00:19:57,393 --> 00:20:00,669 She's very affectionate! Every morning she wakes me up by nibbling in my ear 730 00:20:00,913 --> 00:20:02,312 That must be nice for you 731 00:20:02,433 --> 00:20:05,186 - l didn't allow her in the bedroom at first - No? 732 00:20:08,633 --> 00:20:10,783 lt wasn't as clean as she might be 733 00:20:12,033 --> 00:20:13,512 She used to sleep in the bathroom 734 00:20:14,433 --> 00:20:18,551 - That sounds a bit uncomfortable - No, she was quite happy on the floor 735 00:20:19,153 --> 00:20:21,269 She must think a lot of you to put up with that 736 00:20:21,393 --> 00:20:23,987 She does! Every evening when i come back home, she runs up to me 737 00:20:24,113 --> 00:20:26,422 And rubs up all against my leg 738 00:20:27,033 --> 00:20:28,352 How erotic! 739 00:20:29,553 --> 00:20:34,149 - She's Siamese - Oh well that explains it 740 00:20:34,593 --> 00:20:38,427 The trouble is like most Siamese she's inclined to be a bit oversexed 741 00:20:38,553 --> 00:20:41,829 - She sounds it - l'm thinking of having her doctored 742 00:20:43,313 --> 00:20:45,668 And l thought you were such a nice fellow 743 00:20:45,593 --> 00:20:47,106 - Pardon? - Nevermind 744 00:20:47,233 --> 00:20:49,110 - Where is Sid? - He's gone back to the school 745 00:20:49,233 --> 00:20:51,030 That is if he can find his way back 746 00:20:53,593 --> 00:20:57,268 - Sid - Yes Miss Courtney 747 00:20:57,913 --> 00:21:00,507 - You reek of drink - l beg your pardon? 748 00:21:00,913 --> 00:21:03,188 - Drink - lf you insist 749 00:21:04,033 --> 00:21:08,470 - l'll have a drop of your sherry - You had more than enough already 750 00:21:12,993 --> 00:21:15,188 - Have you finished? - Yes please 751 00:21:15,313 --> 00:21:18,146 - How'd you do? - l'm very well! How do you do? 752 00:21:19,033 --> 00:21:22,150 l mean how did you get on with your exams? 753 00:21:22,273 --> 00:21:25,026 We hope we have not let Mr. Brown down 754 00:21:26,553 --> 00:21:27,622 Miss Courtney! 755 00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,990 - Would you care for a sherry before you go? - l'd be delighted 756 00:21:32,673 --> 00:21:33,822 Do sit down! 757 00:21:35,033 --> 00:21:39,629 lt takes me back... Here in the old office 758 00:21:40,313 --> 00:21:42,668 l expect you miss the hurly burly of the school life 759 00:21:42,913 --> 00:21:45,473 Yes l sleep nights now 760 00:21:46,273 --> 00:21:48,548 - There we are - Thank you 761 00:21:48,993 --> 00:21:52,542 You know Miss Courtney, l didn't know you indulged 762 00:21:52,673 --> 00:21:54,903 l don't really, just an occasional sherry 763 00:21:58,033 --> 00:21:59,546 Ready for another? 764 00:22:01,633 --> 00:22:04,466 - Everyone got a drink? - Yeah 765 00:22:04,633 --> 00:22:07,511 l just would like to say l wish you all every success 766 00:22:07,633 --> 00:22:10,386 lt's been great teaching you and l shall miss you 767 00:22:11,473 --> 00:22:14,067 You have been giving us much wisdom 768 00:22:14,993 --> 00:22:16,984 l am so sad 769 00:22:19,393 --> 00:22:22,669 - You are a vonderful teacher - Si, si 770 00:22:22,913 --> 00:22:25,905 - We never forget our English teacher - Yes 771 00:22:29,233 --> 00:22:32,145 You are the nicest impe lionist l have met 772 00:22:33,153 --> 00:22:35,906 Professori, lt's been a real pleasure 773 00:22:37,473 --> 00:22:40,590 Si, it won't be the same next time 774 00:22:41,073 --> 00:22:42,984 We owe you big debto 775 00:22:43,713 --> 00:22:45,351 Well cheers! 776 00:22:45,473 --> 00:22:47,225 - Cheers - Good health 777 00:22:49,953 --> 00:22:54,629 - l really must be going! l'm meeting my wife - Just one moment before you go Mr Short 778 00:22:54,553 --> 00:22:57,511 How do you think the foreign students got on with their exams? 779 00:22:57,633 --> 00:22:58,622 Terrible! 780 00:22:58,913 --> 00:23:00,471 How do you think you got on with your exams? 781 00:23:00,593 --> 00:23:01,912 Fantastic! 782 00:23:02,593 --> 00:23:04,504 The answer to the question: ''What is a sentence?'' 783 00:23:04,633 --> 00:23:06,942 The chappie in the turban answered 784 00:23:07,073 --> 00:23:09,951 ''A sentence is what you get when you are sent to prison'' 785 00:23:11,713 --> 00:23:14,944 The questions were being very easy to answer 786 00:23:15,393 --> 00:23:18,624 To the question: ''What is the past participle of l write?'' 787 00:23:18,553 --> 00:23:22,626 The Spanish fellow answered, ''l have wrotten'' 788 00:23:24,033 --> 00:23:27,070 l answer everyting OK 789 00:23:27,593 --> 00:23:30,983 The chinese lady was writing backwards 790 00:23:31,673 --> 00:23:35,348 Of course, l don't know how they answered the other questions 791 00:23:35,473 --> 00:23:40,547 But if what l saw is anything to go by, then l shall be very surprised if any of them pass 792 00:23:40,673 --> 00:23:42,948 Goodbye Miss Courtney 793 00:23:43,073 --> 00:23:46,190 l'm very proud of you all! l know you wouldn't let me down! 794 00:23:47,473 --> 00:23:50,146 - Shall we have another drink? - Yes 795 00:23:50,273 --> 00:23:52,503 - Whose round is it? - Yours 796 00:23:56,553 --> 00:23:59,545 Waiter! Oh dear 797 00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:02,787 - What are you doing with my wife? - Nothing, l just... 798 00:24:04,633 --> 00:24:07,909 - You stupid fool - l'm terribly sorry 799 00:24:08,033 --> 00:24:11,992 - Let me buy you both a drink - No, no, no please, please 800 00:24:12,113 --> 00:24:14,502 Have this one on me!